Die Hard: The Puppet Musical

I knew mostly what to expect from Die Hard: The Puppet Musical. It's there in the title - classic action movie Die Hard, with puppets and flashy musical numbers. And for better or worse, that's what I got. Though more suited for a midnight performance than the 1pm show I saw, there were more than a few laughs in this spoof that was ultimately saved by its concept: the puppets.

Following in the growingly tiresome trend of self-mocking musicals, Die Hard: The Puppet Musical begins (as the movie does) with John McClane on a plane to Los Angeles, where he sings his theme song, complete with lyrics "This is my theme song." Witty, huh? John Ardolino doesn't quite have the charisma needy to carry the show, but the musical doesn't rely on his presence as much as the movie does on Bruce Willis. As the only human amongst a sea of necessarily gaudy and stereotypical puppets, he's allowed to fade into the background while the other characters shine. It overloads on camp to the point of excess - while Argyle and Sgt. Powell are sympathetic characters with faults, the musical turns them into the strangest of roles, and you don't know whether to laugh at the caricatures or be horrified at their lack of interest in the situation. By taking any sense of gravitas out of the plot, the musical makes all of its characters odious. I mean, is it really all that funny to have Sgt. Powell sing a song about repeatedly killing a series of children? Friends of mine can attest to the fact that I'm possibly the least politically correct person in New York, but the portrayals of the two black characters and the senseless addition of muslim and asian characters to the evil gang made even me uncomfortable.
Hilariously, the characters who get the most development are the most maligned in the movie. They bring big blonde and beautiful Karl the German into the foreground and fabricate a love story between him and Fritz, leading up to the power ballad "What's a Terrorist To Do? (When He's in Love)" and a strangely touching death scene.

Whatever the faults in the writing, the show itself was fascinating to watch, if only for the puppetry. Though some characters were simple sock puppets and others more like traditional ventriloquist dummies, many of the puppets were incredibly effective in their design. Evil Hans was my favorite - consisting of only a long, thin, highly detailed face with a collar and tie, it was held by one puppeteer in front of anothers' face, as the latter acted with only her hands. On the other end of the spectrum, Karl was a box made of yellow foam with a mop for hair, reminiscent of the 'Purpose' boxes in Avenue Q and so immediately indicative of character. Tagaki, asian boss of the Nakatomi corporation, was a suit with a yellow balloon for a head - which made for a sweet if inevitable death.

I certainly don't regret seeing Die Hard: The Puppet Musical. It made for an entertaining hour and a half, even if it did drag me away from the fabulous finds at the flea market. The question is, where does a show like this find its niche? If Evil Dead flopped off-broadway...