The Iconis and Maddock Variety Hour

"An Ars Nova special bulletin: ladies and gentlemen of the audience, we are sorry to inform you that your regularly schedule performance will not be seen tonight. We appreciate your understanding in this matter and hope you are not deterred from joining us in the future here at Ars Nova. Ars Nova - where all your theater dreams come true. So in lieu of the previously announced musical entertainment, here's... this... thing..."

*cue The Muppet Show theme song*

Tonight was supposed to be Hearken to a Pie Hole - alas, a barfight broke out between Joe Iconis and Duncan Sheik over the quality of Spring Awakening, and the former fractured a finger, and so couldn't write (*blogger cannot attest to the accuracy of this story!). Instead, they presented a variety show made up of songs from Triumphant Baby and other shows, which cannot accurately be reviewed, and so instead of trying to sum up its glorious insanity, I give you highlights in bullet points.

• Curing Nick Blaemire of his inability to walk. Nick being afraid of the microphone and Joe telling him to "Pretend it's a penis. Just get right up on it." Nick later singing 'A Whole Entire Person,' a really fabulous song, then being told to get the fuck off the stage for being too musical theater.
  
• Mary Bond Davis is a hard-hugging bitch. Mary Bond Davis pulling candy out of her bra and throwing it at the audience.
  
• Lance Rubin and Cortney Wolfson singing 'In The Bathroom' from the musical Plastic.
• Matt Wilson spending a full two minutes shoving straws and balloons up his nose to AC/DC's 'Back in Black'
• The Waiting for Godot plot of them saving a chair for Cameron Mackintosh, and him never showing, leading to a mini-breakdown.
• Katie Schorr saying that there are stars in the "seams of that too-short skirt of that trying-too-hard AMDA student" and said student having ZERO sense of humor about the remark. Lorinda Lisitiza bringing it up again a few minutes later. The girl's face.
  

All in all, amazing night. I wish they'd make it a monthly event - I haven't laughed so hard in ages, and their schizophrenic writing is much better suited to a variety show than the one woman cabaret of Triumphant Baby. Team Iconis and Maddock!